WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A day after President Obama held a nationally televised town hall about guns in America, a new poll shows that a majority of Republicans would rather actually be shot by a firearm than agree with him.
In an indication of the challenges facing the President in persuading Republicans, those surveyed named a wide variety of specific guns that they would choose to be personally shot by rather than seeing eye to eye with Obama.
When asked to state their preference, forty-three per cent stated “handgun,” twenty-seven per cent replied “shotgun,” twenty-one per cent responded “assault rifle,” while only two per cent named “agreeing with Obama.”
The poll results are reminiscent of a poll taken last month about climate change, in which a majority of Republicans said they would rather see their habitat destroyed by rising sea levels than agree with President Obama.
Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for newyorker.com.
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