Thirteen Ways of Coping With Trump ’24
Thirteen Ways of Coping with Trump `24
By W. D. Ehrhart
I.
Tell all your friends
to get out and vote.
II.
Put a pillowcase over your head
and pretend that none of this
is happening.
III.
Emigrate to Ireland.
IV.
Try a good single barrel bourbon;
Blanton’s, perhaps, or Angel’s Envy.
V.
How about a header
off the Golden Gate Bridge;
or, if you’re on the East Coast,
maybe the Verrazano.
VI.
Rent a tuxedo,
go to Antarctica,
and try to pass yourself off
as a penguin.
VII.
If good bourbon
is beyond your budget,
go with MD 20/20.
VIII.
Beg the DNC
to field a candidate
younger than Methuselah.
IX.
Send the DNC a lot of money
to bolster your request.
X.
Emigrate to Ireland.
XI.
Go for a long walk,
maybe in the Sahara Desert
or the Amazon Rain Forest.
XII
Consider prayer:
according to John XIV, 14:
“If ye shall ask any thing in My name,
I will do it.”
XIII.
Remember:
the game ain’t over
‘til the fat lady sings.
Do the right thing
come November.
W. D. Ehrhart is author of Thank You for
your Service: Collected Poems (McFarland).
His most recent collection is At Smedley Butler's Grave from Moonstone.