Portside

At Albuquerque's Cottonwood Classical Preparatory School, students are "expected to adhere to the International Baccalaureate Learner Profile traits...(and) strive to be Inquirers, Knowledgeable, Thinkers, Communicators, Principled, Open-Minded, Caring, Risk-Takers, Balanced, and Reflective with the overall objective of being the leaders of tomorrow." Using the conversation-based, Socratic-like Paideia method of instruction, the school's mission is to "develop highly-skilled, socially responsible, learning activists" within "a dynamic environment where students learn to think for themselves." So now, for better or worse, they are: This week, seniors voted online to hold a Communist-themed prom they quickly dubbed “prom-munism.”

While it remains unclear just what a prom-munism would look like - Universal first aid? Lines around the block for punch and cabbage soup? Free night classes? The occasional basement interrogation? Seniors (finally) getting off the backs of the freshmen? Equal gawky angst for all? - the choice nonetheless sparked a wee bit of turmoil among less-than-likeminded conservative students. Some dismissed the "jokesters" among them while simultaneously acknowledging "a lot of them are really intense with politics”; some were crestfallen their aquarium-themed choice of “A Night in the Reef” lost the vote; and some were seriously freaked. Intoned one, “I would hope Cottonwood would realize the seriousness of having a very powerful and destructive idea as the theme for a prom.” Another magnanimously suggested "the seniors meant no harm in their choice of theme" before declaring, "It is not appropriate.”

Meanwhile, caught between a rock and a Marxist place, school officials seem for now to be hedging their bourgeois bets. Cottonwood's executive director responded to the news by defending students as "very academically focused," noting that "one of the classes they enjoy the most is a world history class” and stressing "we want to make sure we honor the students’ voices"; then he announced he'd speak to the school next week and "use this as a learning experience for them.”Others are ready to cut all this tolerant crap and blame Satan, liberals and other evil forces for turning all our country's fine young patriots into damn godless leftists.A blogger at For God's Glory Alone Ministries wrote that a prom espousing the principles of egalitarianism is "clear evidence on how we are failing as a society!" He went on, "Communism is no joking matter! I find it completely beyond human comprehension that in a country founded on a Judeo-Christian basis where we treasure our liberties and our freedoms, we have children today being brought up to celebrate communism!!!...To have it come to this - SAD!!! I’ll miss you AMERICA !!!"

Some of the rest of us, maybe not so much. Let the ruling classes tremble, and comrades, let the good times roll.