Portside

there was a season of disappointments 
where supportive friends were hard to find 
needing a sign, i drove down to Chinatown to 
play among strangers 
            they don’t know me,  
            they don’t owe me anything 
            they are there for their own M.O. 
i was there to ask my guides to speak to me 
like how people ask the tarot cards their questions 
i asked the mahjong game to give me guidance 
when humans fail, spiritual guides need to speak to me 
i begged my guides to tell me i can win at life 
that night, i won an unusual number of games through self-pick 
            zi moh 
that night, i learned i could win on my own strength 
            duk laap 
and the image of ass-kicking Lucy Liu and her angels 
with Destiny’s Child singing 
taught me that 
            i could
                        depend on me. 

Jen Cheng is the fifth West Hollywood City Poet Laureate (2023-2026), a Poet Laureate Fellow with the Academy of American Poets, a California Arts Council Fellow, and the author of Braided Spaces (2023). She was named one of the Top 50 LGBTQ+ Impact Leaders by LA Magazine (2025). Jen’s writing is published in Passengers Journal, Colossus:Current, Altadena Poetry Review, L.A. Parent, and elsewhere. To connect, please visit JenCvoice.com or on social media @JenCvoice. (This poem originally appeared on SWIMM on June 16, 2026.)