Portside

It’s Different Now

By Christopher Clauss

They want me to fill out purchase orders / spend my own money on classroom supplies / and get reimbursed / maybe / after the credit card bills have already come due

They want me to inventory the glassware/ plan a budget for what I will spend / a year from now /

before this year has even begun / and then they only give me half of what I need

I just want to teach science

They want me to put all of the chairs / on top of the desks / at the end of the school day /

otherwise the custodians refuse to sweep

They want me to find and erase the swear words / pick off the gum wads / spray down and disinfect / everything / and never get sick /unless I know I’m going to be sick at least two weeks in advance /so they have time to find a substitute teacher

I just want to teach science

They want me to wear my school identification badge /at all times while in the building

They want me to do bus duty /and lunch duty /and recess duty

They want me to supervise / the hallway in between classes

They want me to supervise / the students lingering in the science lab / in between classes / at the same time as I am standing out in the hallway

They want me to bend / the laws of time and space

I only teach middle school science

They want me to manage the behavior in my classroom

They want me to teach respect and dignity / to children never shown it at home

They want me to inspire children / who seldom are in attendance for me to inspire
They want me to create a safe and welcoming environment

They want me to break up fist fights / but also / to avoid physical interaction with fighting students / for liability purposes

They want me to keep track of which students / go to the bathroom / and how often / and during which classes / and for how long / and how many times per week

They want me to use a calm, soothing tone / and greet every child with a smile

They would not hire me do any of this / without a master’s degree

I have a master’s degree

in education / I just want to teach science

They want me to practice fire drills / shut the doors / lock the windows / count heads in the parking lot

They want me to know the difference between a lockdown / and a shelter in place

They want me to hide in a closet / reassure crying 13-year-olds / this is just a safety drill

They want me to have a plan to barricade my classroom doors

They want to give me a bucket of rocks / for the science classroom / for my students to throw should a gunman enter

They want me to teach my students to throw rocks

They want me to recertify / first aid / CPR / learn what to do if I am first on the scene

It’s different now / since the marathon / they tell the teachers, “Lose the limb, save the life.” / so now we learn to apply tourniquets

These last years / since Parkland / teachers learn first aid for a bullet wound

I carry a card in my wallet / that says / I can treat a bullet wound

I just want to teach science

They want me to carry a gun

Christopher Clauss (he/him) is a father, poet, husband, photographer, and middle school science teacher in rural New Hampshire.  His first full-length book of poetry, Photosynthesis & Respiration, is now available from Silver Bow Press. His poems have been published in New York Quarterly, Plants and Poetry Journal, Sylvia, FreezeRay, and Bureau of Complaint. You will find him on the deck of the E/V Nautilus exploring the sea floor or, more often, grading lab reports in the science lab.