Portside

Sermon on the Mount 2024

By Susan Cossette

Seeing the multitudes gathered

he went to the stage

and began to teach.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek.

All the people who tried to defeat me failed.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they shall be sons of God.

I will end every international crisis,

the horrible war in Gaza, in Ukraine,

Our borders will be secure.

I will wipe every tear from every eye.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Inflation has destroyed your life savings and

forced you into depression and despair. 

But you will prosper.

The factories will again chuff

their venom into the clogged sky.

We will drill for oil

and pull the plug on every electric vehicle.

With proper leadership,

every disaster will be fixed.

I will build an iron dome over you

and cure cancer and Alzheimer’s.

Oh children, I am the light of the world.

Rejoice and be glad.

Great will be your reward in heaven.

Our vision is righteous, our cause pure.

America is on the cusp of a new Golden Age,

but we must have the courage to seize it.

By God’s grace I am here tonight.

There was blood, blood, blood

I should be dead.

But I stood, fist raised.

Fight. Fight. Fight.

I am risen.

See him on that neon mountain,

his name in crude lights, and fear

the rough beast slouching toward Bethlehem

waiting to be reborn.